Simply put, a few months ago I had my heart broken. Contrary to popular belief, it is harder to break a heart than one may think. The heart, when in love, is extremely forgiving and often seals up the cracks before they manage to split it in half. I was in a long relationship, one that I was sure would last me well into my elder years, but somehow I was cruelly snapped into reality and there came a point where there was no denying what I had to do.
The boy (now man) that I had loved for so long was no longer into me, at least that's how it seemed.
After numerous nights of crying myself to sleep and mulling over why I had been so blatantly rejected by the one guy I had given my heart to, I found the strength within my anger to go through with a decision that I had never wanted to make before. Despite the inner turmoil, I pushed through, wanting to prove to myself that I could leave a bad situation.
For a girl who hasn't been single since her teens, jumping back into the dating scene is much harder than most movies make it seem and I often feel like Bridget Jones - love life all fucked up and confusing.
Fast forward a few months and I managed to find someone to date, and although I can honestly say I like the guy, there is all types of confusing going on there and a "game" that I'm sure I don't quite understand the rules of. Here's the one question I have been asking myself over and over...
"Why is it not enough to just love someone? Why do we have to play this game?"
Granted I understand what the "chase" is all about. Anyone, not just guys, are turned off by the insanely-easy-to-obtain, but why do I always have to carry a bag of tricks just to keep a guy interested?
I started this off with "simply put" right? Truth is, there might not be a simple way to put it. I need to let it out for myself and maybe for another Coquette out there who is trying her best to find herself a slice of happiness next to someone she adores (and who equally adores her). It's fucking frustrating, but maybe putting this out there will help.
xoxo
Le Petit Coquette
0 comments:
Post a Comment